Mr. Marcus Duveskog

I understand your reaction and think you would feel the same going to Sweden. Think it is partly the mind your own business mentality as well at not being used to shallow talks with strangers. I must say personally I love the friendly smiles and greatings I get in most African places I been to. It took me some time to adjust when I lived in a village in Tanzania some years back. I thought I could walk my 300 meters to work in 2 minutes which I would have done in Sweden. Realizing that I needed to take time to stop and talk to everyone I met along the way as relations were more important than coming in time to class. I agree with Javiers points that when someone from Finland (or Sweden) talks they generally mean what they say and that we tend not to like to talk unless we have something to say. However personally I think the small interactions and the smiles make us happier and make us realize we live in a world not only circulating around ourselves. I think under the surface Finnish and Swedish people are as friendly as any other people but we should realize the positive effects of a smile every now and then. I have also experienced the superficial friendliness Sabine mentions where getting disappointed after thinking the nice words exchanged meant something also the next day. One cultural collision I experience often in East Africa is that in a Swedish/European culture it is usually taboo to ask for financial help from a friend. I have many times got disappointed at friends asking me for money in East Africa thinking that our friendship should not include me opening my tiny wallet. For a long time I thought it was because I am white and people think I have money and want to take advantage of it. After some time I realized that in an African context friendship is a lot about sharing whatever you have. When I see how some of my colleagues support family and friends I almost feel ashamed over how tight I keep holding on to my wallet when one of my friends is in need and I would be able to help - but don't as I keep my believe that friendship and money does not mix...

After posting this situation on my blog, someone from Finland wrote this comment that I liked:

"This reminds me about something I read years ago. I can’t remember the source exactly but it might have been one Finnish researcher who has studied cross-cultural issues.

Anyway, she had one explanation for the differences between, e.g., American and Finnish people in this kind of situations. She argued that meeting unknown people is always seen as a potential threat, but in different cultures they have different ways to deal with this threat: American people pretend that they actually know you - and Finnish people pretend that you do not exist."

So perhaps the higher level issue is the potential threat, and the contextual aspect of it is how we deal with it? Interesting.

I can only talk from my own experience. My very first days here were living within a spies movie. People did not look at you straight into the eyes but... sideways. I talked to myself "something must be going on here". Later, I thought that I had to learn a new social etiquette. I noticed - like Clint - that people do not smile to each other or even look at each other, for instance, in the bus. But as soon as they know you and you get - let's say - part of the landscape, you can sense some friendliness and confidence (although most of the time is not expressed with smiles).

However, the finn's sense of trust is quite developed. Very often they really mean what they say, for instance, when they offer themselves for help once the ice is broken. And they remember everything what they have said (it's like smalltalk does not exist for them) and even better, what YOU have said.....

Once you get used to the unwritten rules, it's not a problem.

About being nice and say hello to strangers. I have to say that where I live in Spain, Madrid, people can be very mean and impolite ("Madrid kills me" we often to say) and may treat you as if you owe them a favour.

I have never been to Finland, nor met anyone from Finland, so I would not be able to guess their social behaviors. However, I can share my first reaction to the smiles, hellos, offers of help and friendship when I first came to the United States (Iowa 15 years ago): disappointment. Everyone was so friendly, and yet no one ever answered their phone when I'd call the number a day after they gave it to me, no one had time to help as they had offered. I reasoned that the concept of friendship was quite superficial to what I was used to in France.
People do not smile to each other in French streets. In France, people might offer help but not friendship. Friendship is not something to be offered. It is understood as simply developing from an acquaintance relationship. It also entails certain responsibilities from both parties. So some relationships might not develop into friendship because of individual preferences to avoid those responsibitlies toward each other.
So my first months in America were spent figuring out the different layers of "acquaintances." When I discussed my first reactions with other foreign students on campus, they seemed to share the same confusion about these "american social norms." The most accepted explanation among these foreign students were that the American culture had developed so quickly based on its immigrant-always-on-the-move history, that their social norm was to make quick acquaintances to create a pool of relations for "survival" (or nowadays, for networking). As the years passed, I've also realized that campus life and off-campus America are quite different.
However, 15 years later, I have to admit that nothing has much changed. Now maybe it is because I am in a region of the States reputed for superficiality (southern California's Orange County)...I am trying hard not to sound cynical, here. I have eventually developed some wonderful friendships in the Midwest, still surviving my cross-country relocation today. However, I certainly feel like I do not belong here, as much as I do not belong anymore in France (15 years will apparently do that to you).
And yes, I've been "americanized" enough to not hesitate to stop people in the streets anywhere in the world (France, Bosnia, Croatia, Spain, or US) for a question or a comment (usually to the astonishment of my very French parents). But I still do not smile that easily to strangers on or off-campus.